Driving across Scotland

We came, we saw, we scarfed down haggis like maniacs. Over two hundred kilometers in seven days, chasing the horizon through cities, forgotten villages and empty landscapes where the only traffic jams were wandering sheep.

Getting out of the big cities felt like a deep breath. We chased the winding roads to stumble on something real, perhaps the soul of Scotland. Maybe in a small town with unpronounceable namne, maybe near a derelict roadside pub, maybe just in the silence of the highlands. The locals may look tough as nails and rugged like yesterdays carpet. But crack a joke, swap a story and they’d prove you wrong. The Scots have a fierce pride of their history and origins, hiding warm hospitality behind a weathered exterior. They will happily pour you a “wee dram” while thoroughly explaining why the resentment against any things English goes deep.

The photogénique Castle Stalker.

We chased our cinematic fix. Glenfinnan is the home village of the protagonist Connor MacLeod in the 1986 movie “Highlander”, portrayed by Christopher Lambert on a bad hair day. But the castle depicted in the movie is actually Eilean Donan, located a far bit to the north of Glenfinnan.

While standing on a peak overlooking the area, the Jacobite Steam Train from the Harry Potter movies crossed the Glenfinnan viaduct next to us.

“We’re in the Highlands, where else? Running down a mountainside. The sun is shining.”
— Connor MacLeod, Highlander (1986)

Stomping Highlander grounds in Glenfinnan.

We found Doune Castle, where John Cleese once gave his best insults in a French accent to the “English knigghits” in the 1975 film “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, as well as the Castle Stalker (aka Castle Aaarrgh) where the Graal quest came to a rather abrupt end.

We actually spent the night in another castle, bereft of French knights and holy grails.

Even though we named our merry band The Bagpipe Bastards, we ran into a surprisingly low number of actual bagpipes. Instead we payed homage to The Proclaimers by driving through their hometown Auchtermuchty with the windows down, playing “500 miles” on loud volume. We are likely still on their most wanted list for that one.