Review: Air Babylon

This book by Imogen Edwards-Jones tells the tale of a character who works on a big airline. It actually feels like a collection of hilarious anecdotes tied together by something vaguely resembling a story line.

For instance, we get ironic puns about how to get Semtex bombs aboard, details about the irritating boy band who sneaks away with the air hostesses in first class and how rude people get tagged at check-in so they later can be served food spiced with laxative.

For the extra juicy bits, we learn how to effectively deal with couples getting it on in the tiny toilet space while a large queue is waiting outside, as well as what really happens when the tired crew get together in a small space with a lot of tax-free alcohol. In other words, no big surprises here, but still quite entertaining.

Furthermore, it goes into great length to explain why luggage always get lost at Heathrow, what the hostesses really feel about the new security rules being enforced after 9/11 and how “far queue” is the most polite way of saying “fuck you” to people who may or may not deserve it. The stories goes on about dropping wheels before landing, hiding people who die during the flight and proper handling of snakes on a plane (not the movie).

Airport in Sofia, Bulgaria. Not the most cozy place I’ve been to.

Even though it’s supposed to be a light read, the tone is often a bit condescending against all those poor people who happen to fail any of the thousand informal rules set by the crew. I understand that the crew can get very frustrated by the stressful and ungrateful job of managing the horde in a small space, but I hope they are kinder to their customers in reality than in these stories.

“There’s a saying at the airport that passengers pack their brains in their suitcases before they arrive; they are always disoriented, distracted and seemingly incapable of looking after themselves.”
— Imogen Edwards-Jones, Air Babylon (2005)

I see her point and I sometimes resemble a vegetable at airports myself, but the easy explanation is of course that people are tired from long journeys, disoriented by jumping time zones, low on nutrients due to irregular dining hours and so on.

It’s witty, cynical and often very entertaining. Most likely popular with airline employees. I remember reading this book on a flight from Singapore when the steward approached me with a big grin and said “Great book! You’ll love it!”.