Mink Machine

Movie horizon of 2008

The movie year of 2007 was actually quite good, but there are a few gems coming up in 2008.

  • Cloverfield
    I don’t think it will be nearly as good as the hype claims, but must see it anyway.
  • Jumper
    It seems like a weird mix of Kurt Wagner and Highlander. Love it!
  • I am legend
    Will Smith is the last man on Earth, in a remake of Charlton Heston’s classic The Omega Man from 1971.
  • Doomsday
    Malcolm McDowell and Neil Marshall will make this something to remember.
  • Atlas Shrugged
    Angelina Jolie has been chosen as Dagny Taggart, one of the main characters in Ayn Rand’s novel. But the question for further auditions is obvious: Who is John Galt?
  • Vicky Cristina Barcelona
    Woody Allen’s new film is naturally featuring his latest darling Scarlett Johansson. It was shot in Barcelona at the same time I was there this summer.
  • Valkyrie
    Bryan Singer gives Tom Cruise an eye-patch to play with.
  • The Happening
    Sigh. Shyamalan just don’t know when to stop.
  • Zombie Strippers
    A zombie movie with Jenna Jameson. This will be unbearable.

We also have a fair share of sequels, for good or worse:

  • AvP 2 – Requiem
    The year opens with this eagerly awaited sequel on January 4th, featuring the horrible predalien. It will suck big time but I will see it ten times anyway for the spear and shoulder cannon.
  • Indiana Jones 4
    He does look a bit old these days.
  • Star Trek 11
    JJ Abrams has gathered a quite impressive casting for this prequel.
  • X-Files 2
    I want to believe that this sequel won’t suck.
  • National Treasure 2
    What will they unearth this time? The secret connection between Pocahontas and Lee Harvey Oswald?
  • Hellboy 2
    The big red guy hits the sewers once more.
  • Bond 22
    21 predecessors! Now how’s that for a sequel?
  • Starship Troopers 3
    Rico’s back! And by writing this, I’ve done my part.
  • Narnia: Prince Caspian
    The irritating siblings return to fairyland.

There’s also the usual suspects of comic book adaptations:

  • Batman : The Dark Knight
    Oh yes. Heath Ledger’s Joker will be quite far from Nicholson’s smiling jester.
  • Iron Man
    Downey surprisingly nails the millionaire playboy character quite well in the trailer, even though they will most likely change the character’s alcoholic behavior for obvious reasons.
  • Solomon Kane
    How did Max von Sydow and Pete Postlethwaite end up in this Conan spin-off?
  • The Incredible Hulk
    Not that Ang Lee’s version was a masterpiece, but I really wonder why they had to do a new one so soon?

And as always, we have a bunch of movies that simply should not exist. Such as…

  • A-Team
    Except for Mr T, the remake cast is simply priceless with Fabio as “Beautiful Thug” and Richard Kiel as “Thug”.
  • John Rambo
    You didn’t see it coming, did you? Get ready for the grenade-armed wheelchair.
  • Jurassic Park IV
    The first movie redefined CGI industry but the sequels were an insult. This one will not be an exception.
  • Scorpion King prequel
    That’s right, a prequel to a movie which in itself was a prequel to The Mummy, which also had a sequel. Fortunately, The Rock was wise enough to stay away this time.
  • Punisher 2: Welcome Back Frank
    I wish it was a joke, but that’s the actual title.
  • The Day the Earth Stood Still remake
    This is a remake of the fantastic original, this time starring Keanu Reeves as Klaatu. Please say it’s only a bad dream.


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