Mink Machine

Movie horizon of 2007

After the somewhat disappointing movie year of 2006, what do we see at the horizon?

  • 300
    Clearly the most anticipated film of next year. Frank Miller is back on the screen and the trailers are absolutely gorgeous.
  • Hot Fuzz
    The team from excellent zombie movie Shaun of the dead is back with some kind of action/comedy. Looks promising from the trailer.
  • Grindhouse
    A set of two horror movies by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. Could be fun.
  • Sunshine
    Hopefully a decent sci-fi flick, but most likely a disappointment.
  • Stardust
    Anything written by Neil Gaiman cannot possibly be bad.
  • 3:10 to Yuma
    This seems to be some sort of western with Christian Bale and Russell Crowe. Could be fun.
  • Shoot ‘Em Up
    The title says it all. Could be a lot of brainless fun.
  • Plane dead
    After the surprisingly awaited Snakes on a plane, here comes zombies on a plane. Be still my beating heart.
  • Beowulf
    Maybe they will manage to break the curse placed by Christopher Lambert upon any project named Beowulf.
  • Smokin’ Aces
    Even though it features Ben Affleck, I feel this Vegas mob flick has potential. Or it could simply be the early promo pics of Alicia Keys
  • Transformers
    I hope it’s better than the He-Man film with Dolph Lundgren…
  • The Simpsons Movie
    Well, gonna see it anyway.

There also seems to be a lot of sequels coming this way:

  • Daywatch
    Hopefully just as entertaining as it’s predecessor Nightwatch.
  • Spider-Man 3
    This time they follow the X-Men 3 route and try to squeeze in as many things as possible. Sandman, Venom, Gwen, the symbiot and yet another goblin. They need at least seven hours to get it all.
  • Pirates of The Caribbean: At World’s End
    Most likely solid entertainment for the bucks.
  • Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix
    Let’s hear it one more time for Voldemort and the Hogwarts dudes.
  • Rocky Balboa
    That’s right. Sly will do one more of them before the nursing care. Let me hear “Adrian” once more.
  • Ocean’s Thirteen
    Come on. The second film wasn’t even good.
  • Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer
    I really want to see how they will pull this one off without making the audience laugh to death. An intergalactic surfer in gray tights and a guy who eats planets?
  • Die Hard: Live Free Or Die Hard
    Forgive me for not leaping with joy. When will poor John McClane be allowed for retirement?
  • Resident Evil 3
    Oooh how surprising, considering the ending of number 2.
  • Evan Almighty
    This is sort of a sequel to Bruce Almighty, but unfortunately without Jim Carrey.
  • The Bourne Ultimatum
    Let’s hope it is the last one.
  • Shrek the Third
    Will be just as the prequels – fun and harmless.
  • Bloodrayne 2
    Last but not least, Uwe Boll will return with a sequel to one of the worst movies in history. Kristanna Loken declined to reprise her role as Rayne and I’m not surprised to see Michael Madsen skip it either.

There are also some disturbing rumors of Brian De Palma making a prequel to his masterpiece The Untouchables. I fear nothing good can come of this. Who would you cast as a young Jimmy Malone?

And for the distant 2008, we’re all looking forward to the remake of The A-Team. Except for Mr T, the cast is just unbelievable with Fabio as “Beautiful Thug” and Richard Kiel as “Thug”. Could we already have found the worst movie of 2008?

2 comments

  • avatar
    Sofia
    29 Dec, 2006

    The A-team movie. I mean, how could it fail? Honestly.
    Either its really good. (well, probably not)
    Or its a catastrophy, (probably) and therefore worth seeing.
    Or its blah-blah (maybe), but will still be worth seeing because Fabio will be “Beautiful Thug”.
    I’m really very serious about this!

  • avatar
    01 Jan, 2007

    They actually showed some new movies on the flight to Sydney last week, but I was kind of surprised with the selection. Who pick these films anyway? I mean, showing World Trade Center and Snakes On A Plane on a 20-hour flight? Bit of irony there.

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