Mink Machine

Parlez-vous Francais?

[May 2001]

On a trip to France, me and Martin assembled a brief summary of contemporary French phrases, essential on any journey in this country. (No, this is not an insult on the French, don’t sue me)

At the restaurant
Est cette vache folle? Is this cow mad?
Il goûtent le singe de goût It taste like monkey
Je déteste des escargots I hate snails
Fichu bon café Damn good coffee
Meeting people
Donnez-moi mon bagage ou mourez Give me my luggage or die
Vous sentez le mauvais You smell bad
Montrez-moi l’argent Show me the money
Êtes-vous sourd? Are you deaf?
Nous sommes des nerds d’ordinateur We are computer nerds
Êtes-vous Jimmy Hoffa? Are you Jimmy Hoffa?
Les hiboux ne sont pas ce qui semblent ils The owls are not what they seem
Vous êtes les poulet, tout le vous You are wimps, all of you
Ma grand-mère conduit plus rapidement My grandmother drives faster
Est ce par morceau de votre cerveau? Is this a piece of your brain?
Appelez la police, je suis un terroriste Call the police, I am a terrorist
L’Oswald a-t-il agi tout seul? Did Oswald act on his own?
Intergalactic greetings
Toute votre base sont appartiennent à nous All your base are belong to us
Ce que vous dites What you say
Enlevez chaque zig Take off every zig
Pour la grande justice For great justice
Je suis votre père I am your father
Utilisez la force Use the force
Nous sommes devenus deathstar We got deathstar
Je trouve votre manque de foi déranger I find your lack of faith disturbing

Featured stories

The lakes of Lombardy

"The town of Como, largest settlement around Lake Como, attracts a lot of people with big wallets. But I preferred to take the funicular up the mountain to the Brunate region, where you get a much better view of the lake."

Historic locations in Gothenburg

"Hundreds of houses were quickly build, but unfortunately all of it was burned to the ground in 1611 by Danish forces."

Roaming through Banff

"Even though the main town is surrounded by mountains with names such as Sulphur Mountain, it is as far away from Mordor as one could imagine."

The urban maze of Tangier

"There are exciting things waiting around every corner and my bucket list is long, but the Medina has a mindset of its own regarding time and space."

On the Trans-Siberian

"Since the toilets were locked during the seven hour stop, we had to bribe the provodnitsas to use the facilities. Then came the Mongols."

Bunker safari

"The area contains 54 excavated bunkers along with gun emplacements, scattered around the town’s most visible landmark."